Tuesday, October 4, 2011

I Thought You Were Crazy About Me...But You Were Just CRAZY!!!

When I saw a bite on your hand, I asked you about it. You said a dust bunny bit you. I laughed because I thought you were being funny. But you were dead serious.

When you said you had to check behind your dresser 3 times because "the little people were after you". I thought, everyone has the right to be precautious.

When you told me you wore a diaper, you know, just in case, I thought , "I like a man that thinks ahead!"

I just knew you were the one when you said you'd die without me.........then you went on to say, that's because you can't bear the thought of going to prison after you do me in.

I was awed by the fact that 10 of your high school buddies named their children after you. You then went on to say, that you did deliver half of them during the 6 weeks it took to get your GED.

I felt so special that you liked to watch me sleep. And eat. And from across the street while I was at work. During my aerobics class. While I used the bathroom. You know, nothing out of the ordinary....but I still don't know how you got that job as shampoo girl at my salon.

When I began to get male attention on Myspace and AOL, you didn't blink an eye. Of course I have found out later that they were all you, talking to me simultaneously for over 12 hours a day. But that's just love. Right?

But then it happened. You did the one thing no person in their right mind would ever do. I knew then you were insane. I knew at that moment it was never about me, it was never love. It was just crazy. And what you did was absolutely heinous, I don't even know if I can type it without throwing up.

As I saw you drink the milk right out of the milk carton and put it back in the fridge...........I knew you were crazy!!!

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